Thursday, January 25, 2007

The New Barkada Blog Is Up!

Click on the screenshot to visit our new home!

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Well-Mannered Elderly Gone

Today, despite differences in cultural backgrounds and social status, we move in a society where certain courtesies are expected. We follow traffic rules out of courtesy for other motorists and for the safety of everyone on the road. We walk on the right side of a two-way corridor, stairs, or any walkway out of courtesy to other people passing us by from the opposite direction. We say "excuse me" when we bump accidentally onto other people. These are simple rules we follow that we have come to imbibe in our lives due to innumerable repetitions enforced upon us by our parents, guardians, teachers, and elders since we've learned how to walk and talk.

With these realizations, I just simply can't understand why some people need to be rude, when following simple rules expected of us can make life more pleasant for everyone.

At the HMO clinic earlier today, I was using the patient's toilet room because the one for the doctors was being cleaned up. I was washing my face when I heard someone trying to turn the knob. The other person obviously wouldn't be able to because I had it locked so I told the person outside that I was still inside. The person continued turning the knob and even thumped the door loudly three times. Though starting to get irritated, I continued washing my face and brushing my teeth. After a short while, I heard another series of knocks on the door, still as loud as the previous knocks but more urgent.

When I was done, I stepped outside, irritably wondering who the hell does this person think she is to keep on rapping on the door like that. I discovered she was this almost elderly woman with fake blonde hair, fake pearls, and an air about her that speaks of haughtiness and feeling of superiority. I wasn't wearing my white coat then, so she must have thought of me as a kid who's been using the bathroom for too long (in her opinion) and just rushed past me into the bathroom, nose in the air. No apologies whatsoever.

I would have accepted an excuse such as that she can't hold her urine any longer (after all, she's elderly already). But she didn't even offer any apologies at all. It was as if it's her right to kick someone out of the bathroom when she needs to use it.

Actually, I wasn't offended because I'm a doctor whom she tried to kick out of the bathroom. I was offended because I'm another human being who doesn't deserve such discourtesy. She seemed an educated woman but why can't she be civilized enough to respect my right to use the bathroom, especially if I was the one there before her? Did she think she has the right to disregard my right just because she's older?

That is the problem with some old folks these days. Older people often complain that the younger generation has yet to learn discipline and respect. But older people, too, seemed to have been losing their manners. They demand that their needs be placed above others simply based on seniority. They demand that they be respected, even if by their virtue they don't earn it.

I still do hold respect for older people. And so I held my tongue at that time. But I wished she was in line for consult in my clinic so when she sees me, she'd realize she tried to kick out of the bathroom the doctor she's going to have consultation with. So that, at least, for a moment, we would be equals, somehow. Unfortunately, she was in line for consult with another doctor.

So there she went, with me having done nothing. After all, how does one reprimand an older woman that she's lost her manners? She just might spat on my face for my "disrespect" for her. Filipino elderly people do not handle such criticisms from the youth. It is as if they are untouchable by merit of their age.

But then, I remembered age isn't necessarily an indicator of wisdom. With the increasing population of the older age group, I'm beginning to wonder where the wisdom and the manners had gone to.